welcome to my journal

The kids called up on Friday night and asked if I wanted to come up that night but I said no and for them to enjoy their last night at camp. They then asked for me to come up on Saturday as they love the beach and we could have a day out before coming home in the afternoon. I said ok.

As I left on Saturday morning, there was this foul smell in the car that I had to pull over to inspect. It happens that the bottle of hot chocolate that Tyler made a few days ago was still under my driver seat and had spilled all over the carpet. It stunk like vomit, bad smelling shit. The smell was so bad that it gave me a headache. I was about to turn-around and drove back home but instead, I continued on with windows down breathing through my mouth. I stopped by at Gosford, dropped the car off to clean and caught an uber to Umina Beach and spent a few hours with them at the beach. The water was warm and they had a great time jumping waves. I drove home by myself.

Alanah walked past the car when we were at home and said “OMG the car stinks!!! Why did you come mummy? I would have just stayed at home.”

“The thought did crossed my mind. But I think you might be disappointed if I was to call you and tell you I’m not coming. It’s your first time away without mummy too. I want you to know that you can have fun without me and able to do things without me. But mummy also want you to know that I’ll always run to you and be there for you. I’ll just do it at the right time. Do you understand?”

They looked at me, nodded and smiled.

2021 .. many lessons to learn. We are ready for you.